Postpartum Rage: The Symptom No One Talks About
You thought postpartum depression would look like sadness.
Tears.
Withdrawal.
Maybe numbness.
But no one warned you about the rage.
The kind that rises fast and hot.
The kind that makes you snap.
The kind that leaves you thinking, “Who even am I right now?”
If this is you, I want you to hear this clearly:
Postpartum rage is real.
And it does not make you a bad mother.
What Is Postpartum Rage?
Postpartum rage can be a symptom of:
Postpartum depression (PPD)
Postpartum anxiety
Postpartum PTSD
Nervous system dysregulation after birth
It often shows up as:
Irritability over small things
Snapping at your partner
Feeling overstimulated constantly
Anger that feels out of proportion
Clenched jaw, tight chest, racing heart
Guilt immediately after reacting
And because motherhood is supposed to feel “blessed,” rage feels shameful.
So most women don’t talk about it.
But anger is not a moral failure.
It is a nervous system response.
Why Rage Happens After Birth
Let’s gently break this down.
After birth, your body is navigating:
Massive hormonal shifts
Sleep deprivation
Physical recovery
Identity transformation
Increased sensory input
A baby who depends on you for survival
If your birth was traumatic, your nervous system may already be in survival mode.
When the system is stuck in fight-or-flight, anger is often the “fight” response.
Rage is your body saying:
“I am overwhelmed.”
“I am not safe.”
“I need support.”
It’s protection.
Not pathology.
The Shame Cycle
Here’s what makes postpartum rage so painful:
You react.
Then you feel guilty.
Then you judge yourself.
Then your nervous system feels even less safe.
And the cycle continues.
Shame keeps the nervous system activated.
Compassion softens it.
Trauma, Control & The Illusion of “Holding It Together”
If you experienced birth trauma, you may have felt:
Out of control
Helpless
Unable to protect your baby
After that, your system may become hyper-controlling.
When something small disrupts the fragile sense of control —spilled milk, a crying toddler, a partner forgetting something—it can feel disproportionately threatening.
Your reaction isn’t about the spilled milk.
It’s about a nervous system that never fully landed back in safety.
What Helps Postpartum Rage?
You cannot shame yourself into calm.
You regulate into calm.
Here are gentle starting points:
🌿 1. Track the Trigger
Instead of asking, “Why am I like this?”
Ask, “What overwhelmed my system just now?”
Was it:
Noise?
Lack of sleep?
Feeling unsupported?
Physical pain?
Touch overload?
Awareness reduces intensity.
🌿 2. Regulate Before Repair
If you snap, don’t immediately spiral into self-blame.
Pause.
Breathe slowly.
Feel your feet on the floor.
Then repair with your child or partner.
Regulated repair builds resilience.
🌿 3. Reduce Stimulation
Lower lights.
Turn off background noise.
Step outside alone for 3 minutes.
Modern motherhood is overstimulating. Your nervous system isn’t failing; it’s flooded.
🌿 4. Consider Trauma-Informed Therapy
If rage feels explosive or constant, consider working with a therapist trained in trauma modalities like:
EMDR
Somatic therapy
Nervous system regulation work
Postpartum PTSD often hides behind anger.
Healing is possible.
You Are Not a “Bad Mom”
You are a mother whose nervous system is overwhelmed.
There is a difference.
Rage does not cancel out your love.
You can love your children deeply and still need support.
Both can be true.
A Gentle Reminder
If you are experiencing:
Persistent anger
Intrusive thoughts
Emotional numbness
Panic
Thoughts of harming yourself
Please reach out to your provider or contact:
Postpartum Support International
988 Lifeline
You deserve support.
Gentle Support for Your Nervous System
If you are walking through postpartum healing, I’ve created:
Guided meditations for overwhelmed moms
Nervous system regulation audio classes
Reiki sessions for emotional processing
Children’s meditations to support the whole family
You don’t have to do this alone.
You can explore those resources here.
Be Well,
Becky
